Should a Woman Propose to a Man?
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Should a Woman Propose to a Man?
Wow! that sure breaks the natural order of things, but what the heck! Change is constant, right?
Won't propose to a man myself but if a woman feels she's met her man and he's taking too much time in popping the question, she may as well do the honors.
Why not? If the need arises.
But it is advisable for the woman to understudy the man in question to see that he is matured enough. Proposing to an immatured guy will only lead the relationship to a fiasco and the woman will definitely be taken advantage of.
A woman needs to be a woman!!!.Proposing to a man is not logical and in my own opinion it should be discouraged.However,if a woman felt she is in love with a guy,she can position herself.................. I am very sure you know what i am talking about.
@ Jibowu!
You are very correct in your opinion!
However, it is based on "Ideal Situation". Many guys out there have refused to marry because of the harsh economic situation and the ladies as well are not getting any younger! Moreover, we have more women than men (2006 population figures). :D
Simply put, the number of men who are ready to marry/settle down is a far cry from the number of women who are equally ready. So any lady who gets the opportunity to "hook" a potential husband will not wait a second extra to go for it. ;)
In my own opinion, i don't see anything bad in it, we are in the 21st century and things are changing from what it used to be in our Father's time; (For good & otherwise).
But i'll advise any lady who wants to do such (me i can't, i don't have the liver) to take time to understudy the guy (as Dagunro said) and be sure she's not taking a step she's going to regret,
And having expressed herself; if the guy turns her down, to retrace her steps and not to linger around and make a fool of herself, if he wants her, he'll still come back to her.
Ideally, there is nothing wrong with that.
WHETHER 21ST CENTURY OR NOT, THIS IS AFRICA MY DEAR AND NO MATTER HOW WE TRY TO EMULATE THE WESTERN LIFE, THERE IS ALWAYS A LIMIT. WE CAN NEVER BE LIKE THEM IN EVERYTHING, MY ADVICE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH A LADY LOVES A MAN, SHE SHOULD NEVER PROPOSE TO HIM, MOST MEN WILL NOT UNDERSTAND IT NO MATTER HOW MATURE HE IS. ???
@Jeanie!
NO MATTER HOW MUCH A LADY LOVES A MAN, SHE SHOULD NEVER PROPOSE TO HIM, MOST MEN WILL NOT UNDERSTAND IT NO MATTER HOW MATURE HE IS. - I don't think so!
That is where maturity comes into it. Do you realize that some men are very shy? They only speak to you through body language. If you the lady understands that, You need to "push start" them before they get cracking!
@Dagunro,Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagunro
Are you a shy guy?
@Florafab!
Not in the least!
I was just expressing my observations in some guys especially in school.
Seems I was missing out all along. ;D
@coolguy,
Missing out on what?
the debate of course
;D
THIS COOLGUY NA WAH FOR U OOOOO, WHY DON'T GIVE UR OWN CONTRIBUTION?
Remember Jeanie
Am shy cool guy
but I don't see anything wrong in a woman proposing to the guy she truly loves.
:) ;) :D ;D
l wish all the single ladies can hear this...u have nothing to lose but your chains...way back then in traditional Igbo land it was the (greedy)menfolk who decreed that it was a taboo for the children and womenfolk to eat any of the special portions of a chicken( even though the kids and the women did the slaughtering and cooking)...it was even said that a child shouldnt eat eggs or he/she ll turnout a thief...this was all because the menfolk wanted all this to themselves...
THERE IS JUST NOTHING WRONG IN A RESPONSIBLE, READY AND REASONABLE LADY PROPOSING TO A MATURED, READY, RESPONSIBLE AND REASONABLE GUY IN AN EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL WAY...THE RESPONSE LL DEFINITELY BE A YES OR NO...AND LIFE WILL GO ON
its just that here in the darkest n most backward section of humanity..we are still enslaved to retrogressive traditions and the likes...
Personally, if my ideal lady proposes to me...l ll respect her view, go think about it, weigh the pros and cons, and do the right thing ,if l accept...which is to retaliate...re-propose to her! It doesnt matter who does first or who is older or richer...what just matters is that the woman be submissive to the man!...coolguy l dont think u r looking for a job with the nature of postings u ve bn making lately...r u using the house to write a book or what...u ll soon b paying for facts
@ coolguy, if ur woman proposes to u, be truthful, what will u feel abt her, won't u in the nearest future make reference to the fact that after all she was the one that proposed to u. see i believe that all guys here are matured, and men mostly african men being what they are ego tagged, will always see a lady that proposes to them as being desperate. i rest my case here.
@jeanie!!
It will make me love her the more.
Why?
It give me the feeling that she knows what she wants and go for it
moreso it makes me feel I she is the type that speaks her mind out and I know her.
;D
really, from ur heart of hearts,anyway, i guess u are only speaking not from experience, i pray that u experience it sha.coolguy what part of awka are u from?no feelings just curious
@jeanie!!!
Am sorry!
I told you before that that's the limit I can go besides you didn't tell me yours.
Abey no vex.
;D, coolguy i knew u won't tell me cos i know people from there very well, i am from a town after nnewi, and so much attached to awka people cos i schooled around there, and infact i am so much attached to them,that's all.so no bad feelings.
Really :o
That means U met most of my relations without your knowing it. ;D
That is life.
@ coolguy
whatever, ji si ya ike
@jeanie & Coolguy,
If u guys want to do familarization chat, why don't you send each other personal messages or better still get your e-mail address and chat up.
Don't
@ florafab
madam na wah oooooooo.noted all the same.
Have they not been doing it already? If you meet any lady today, the first thing she would ask me is "would you marry me?" as if marriage is buying car. They have all, or most of them made marriage and relationship to be synonymous. My opinion.
Guy take am easily with them oooo
Havig read through the posts, I have a Contribution/Suggestion to make
The question is whether it is right 4 a woman to proposed to a man?
Well, from bible's viewpoint there is nothing wrong in that. Afterall in the bible, Esther prayed to God before approaching Boax whom he proposed to and God blessed her effort. Later Boax married her and they lived happily. But i have this correction/suggestion to make.
Words of Caution to Guys:
When a girl that truly loves u approach or proposed to u, please dont see her as a wayward person rather she is revealing a special quality (Openess and honesty) which is an important ingredient in marriage. Please do not take it 4 granted and oppress her because u feel she cant do without u. If actually u do not love to have her as ur life partner, tactfully and mildly explain to her assigning her dignity and respect.
Words of Caution to Ladies:
Before approaching any guy make sure the guy truly loves u but he is naturally shy to make the move. I Know is very difficult to take such a bold step considering our cultural background to proposed to man but is better to do it instead of wasting ur time with him without commitment. If the guy genuinely loves u he will go ahead with the proposal, he will take charge, if he doesnt do this know that he is not ur Mr. Right. It will save u of ur time (Ladies u know time is not on ur side), headache of heartbreak and so on. Proposing to a man doesnt change whom u are provided u are not doing it 4 selfish reasons.
Corrections to make:
I can still remember some posts were some said as a lady they cant do it. Well is ur opinion, i respect that but i want to let u know that is better to open up than bottling urself with pains and emotions detrimental to health. It doesnt take away anything from u. U are still whom u are. Even if the guy do not appreciate u, someone else better than him will.
Thank u all 4 ur contributions. I enjoyed it
Seconded! ;D ;D ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by florafab
;)
@dagunro, very funny
@jeanie
They are just joking please don't be offended. :)
@ Coolguy,
I dont think Jeanie was offended, i think she fully understood me/us (i.e. if u want to include Dagunro, or take me as d main culprit).
I was only pulling your legs.
Don't be too sentimenal.
@ALL
I really appreciates every body's opinion but to be frank, it's nt wrong for a woman to propose to a man owing to the kind of man involved.
In all, go for ur heart. 8)
I STIILL STAND TO SAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT IN OUR CONTEXT AS AFRICANS, NO LADY SHOULD DO SUCH NO MATTER THE KIND OF MAN INVOLVED, LOOK, THERE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE A TIME WHEN THE GUY WILL DEFINETELY MAKE REFERENCE TO IT IN THE FUTURE AND START SAYING AFTERALL U WERE THE ONE THAT BEGGED ME TO MARRY U, THAT IS THE WAY HE WILL DEFINETELY SEE IT. ANYWAY, ME JEANIE CAN'T AND WON'T DO IT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I LOVE THE GUY AND HE IS NOT PROPOSING, I WILL ONLY PRAY AND IF HE IS MINE, HE WILL DEFINETELY PROPOSE.ONE LUV HOUSE.
This is strictly your opinion I pray it works for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanie
;) ofcourse it will coolguy
Jeanie,
Let me tell u, marriage is not bed of roses. Once u are married, once in a time there will always be a friction no matter how well-matched the couple may be. This is because they came from different background and they have different childhood experience. so if u are telling me that the guy whom a lady proposed to will make reference to it in future as an excuse not to make the move, u are getting it all wrong. Well that ur opinion and i will always respect it but encouraging others to avoid making the move is not rational. The man that may eventually proposed to a lady may even be worse than the man whom a lady proposed to. All depend on how the couple resolve problem when it arises and not whether a man proposed to a lady or a lady proposed to a man.
;D
YES OFCOURSE I KNOW MARRIAGE ISN'T A BED OF ROSES DEAR, FROM WHAT I READ, SEE,OF EVEN HEAR PEOPLE THAT ARE ALREADY IN IT SAY, I KNOW THERE WILL DEFINETELY BE UPS AND DOWNS.ONLY AIRING MY VIEW.
Well it okay.