MR 419

CATCH THE FUN

You need to read this discuss between a 419 guy and his prospective prey

It's not uncommon these days to receive strange calls with foreign numbers. These callers invariably have one juicy business or the other to discuss from 'abroad'. If you fall for the sweet talk, there goes your money.

I got a typical call very recently, here's the gist:

Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?

Ayo: Fine. Pls who am I speaking with?

Mr. 419: Haba, don't you remember me? Who do you know in UK that could be calling?

(Sensing a scam, I threw in a trap..)

Ayo: Johnson! Is that you? (I don't know any Johnson in UK.)

(Thinking it's a break, he swallows the bait)

Mr. 419 : Of course, this is Johnson! How come you didn't recognise my voice initially?

(Certain it's scam, I decided to punish him verbally and financially. I had the time that morning so I was going to assist him waste his call credit.

Ayo: Jooooooohson! Kai! Omo buruku gbaa ni o! (You are a specially bad boy) Your father died, you didn't so much as show up or send a note. Omo a se iru e fun e! (Your children will repay you with such). Didn't you hear about his demise? He was so bitter and full of original curses curses for you.

Mr. 419: (Obviously subdued) I didn't hear. I would have come.

Ayo: Too bad. You heard you mama is leprous too? You didn't hear about that abi?

Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didnt hear.

Ayo: (Enjoying myself thoroughly). Too bad. Is your wife that foolish too? Not even a word from her after you folks married without our blessings? If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted too?

Mr. 419: She's fine. I'm certain she'll get across to you. There's an issue..

(Breaking in before he begins his story)



Ayo: Johnson, O se mi o: you offended me. I sent you money to buy me a car and you just disappeared. When am I having my money back? You want me to curse you too like your father did? I don't have his kind of patience I'm sure you know. I won't wait that long before I give you what you deserve.



Mr. 419: (Grunted). This issue is important...



Ayo: Shut up!!! When are you sending money home? Haba! We sent you to school, clothed you and sent you abroad... Are you now a 419? Stealing from me your friend too. Your father was right to curse you... And you can't escape it if you continue like this. It's not a curse.



Mr. 419: I'll repay you.



After about 50 minutes of moves and countermoves. .. I owned up.



Ayo: See Mr 419, I don't know any Johnson in UK. I just needed to teach you a lesson. Go get a proper job.



Mr. 419: Were! Oloriburuku! Lo ti n sepe fun mi lat'aaro! (Madman, and you've been cursing ,me since morning!)



Ayo. Disconnected.

Sammie!
This is too funny...it sound so real.
I ve gotten calls like dis severally. But trust me ...I no go fit fall nah, Abah!

ONE IDIOT CALLED ME ONCE ALSO CLAIMING TO BE FROM UK , HE ASKED ME TO CALL ONE ENGINEER WILLIAMS TOO, BUT I JUST DIDNT HAVE HIS TIME, THESE NIGERIANS WONT JUST GET A LIFE AND A GOOD JOB. IF E BAD FOR NAIJA MUST OUR YOUTHS ALSO JOIN HANDS IN DAMAGING OUR FUTURE??? REMEMBER THE NEXT GENERATION WILL BE HOTTER THAN OURS AND BY THEM WE WILL ALL BE OLD AND FRAIL, ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT THEY WILL DO TO US..............PLEASE BROTERS AND SISTERS LETS STOP SCAMMING, WHATEVER GRUDGE YOU MAY HAVE AGAINST NIGERIA I KNOW THE COUNTRY HASNT DONE ENOUGH FOR US , BUT IT REALLY DOESNT MEAN WE SHOULD HELP IN DESTROYING OUR OWN TOMORROW, ...........REMEMBER IF PEOPLE DONT ALLOW YOU TO FISH AT THE PUBLIC POND, BUILD YOUR OWN FISH POND.......GOD BLESS NIGERIA.......GOD BLESS THE NIGERIAN YOUTHS.........GOD HELP US ALL!!!