MEN/WOMEN-WHO SHOULD LOVE MORE.

Hi peeps,
Please kindly note that im not trying to raise any controversy here,i just want constructive,reasonable and wise counsel/posts to tackle an issue that has been on my mind(so Dagunro,Jeannie,Felix,etc,i xpect something from you).
The thing is im at a decision making crossroad now and i dont wana take a decision i would regret.
I love my fiancee with an unrivaled passion,i have had a fair share of relationships but she comes out tops,she is like the centre of my world(after God and my Mother ofcourse).
Not a second goes that i dont think of her or wish to see and be with her(im actually in lagos n she's in abuja)
Yes she does love me too(she reminds me of that often)but the crux of the matter is i feel like im showing too much affection.
Its like im always the party eager to communicate(i send over 10msgs daily,i do extra cool during d day,if u knw wat i mean!)
Yes she tries 2 keep up but im always left with desire for more.anytime i try 2 tel her hw i feel,it becomes an issue.
At d back of my mind something tells me she loves me but at times doubts set in.
The problem now is that my heart is beginning to harden and some nasty ideas r coming in such as-Stop calling so often,reduce msgs,punish her too,look for someone 2 take my mind off her,etc.
These are just a few.The question is thus:
DOES SHE REALLY LOVE ME AS SHE PROFESSES AND SHE JUST HAS HER OWN WAY OF SHOWING IT OR IS IT THAT I LOVE HER MORE THAN SHE LOVES ME(IS THAT HEALTHY)
OR AM I JUST WASTING MY TIME?

Please folks i would appreciate this,whoever doesnt have anything serious to contribute can just read and ignore.This is a serious matter and even if its only 1 Serious Reply i get,ITS ALL GOOD.
Thanks a bunch.
08027579194
08039765382

Hello Friend,

I share your story, it's very pertetic and honestly is nice that you love her wholeheartedly. But now, you can not start showing some sense of remorse after all things you have been doing earlier. I urge you to continue in same way and be very patient with your partner, time will tell who loves who. I have great experience when talking about matter like this but I dont want to say much now! Sincerely, you have 50 - 50 chances of calling, sending msgs and some other stuffs and if lady love you it really shows no doubt about dat.

Take care.

08034329696

HONESTLY OLUWATOSIN, LOVE IS A MYSTERY, WHEN IT COMES TO SUCH THINGS, I THINK IT SHOULD BE A 50-50 THING BUT ITS NOT POSSIBLE, ONE MUST LOVE THE OTHER MORE.BUT SERIOUSLY, SOME OF US LADIES TEND TO ABUSE PRIVILEGES GIVEN TO US NOT UNTIL WE LOOSE THAT THING, ONE THING I WILL TELL U FOR SURE IS THAT IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER WHO CALLS THE OTHER PERSON MORE, ALTHOUGH IT CAN BE ANNOYING AND U WILL ALWAYS THING OTHERWISE BUT JUST BE PATIENT, PRAY ABOUT IT AND IF SURELY BOTH OF U ARE MEANT TO BE, NOTHING WILL STOP THAT.OK.MAY GOD DIRECT U.

@Oluwatosin
You are a very very nice guy, but the truth is most ladies do not really get attracted to the very nice guy.
I am very convinced that you really love this lady.In your quest to win her over you tried to be too nice thinking she will fall over ( Rather it will lead to her not picking your calls or not calling you back).Sending 10 text messages to her in a day is much expecially for a lady that you have not marry, though you really care .
Oluwatosin the way attraction work for men is not the same for women.
Indeed the lady likes you but the truth is she will find it difficult to commit herself.

There is some thing i want to share with you on this issue but i cannot place such information on naijahotjob,If you are interested you can mail me on [email protected]

I believe the relationship is worth keeping ,be prayerful and trust in God, he will never put you into a shame.

One Luv
Jibowu

Thanks dude n me lady jeannie.
Yea i get ur points but i'd like 2 point out that its not like im desperate or cant find a woman,i knw hw many ladies i had 2 do away with just 2 b faithful so i guess i hav no qualms.
All i try 2 do is just 2 be as honest n transparent as possible,wat i do believe nw wit d help of ur posts is that if anytin hapns,it means God wants me 2 knw im 2 good 4 her.
I wil be patient n prayerful as always n i knw He will show me wat 2 do.
Thanks folks
@Jibowu
I sent u d mail ok.

Your experience is not an unusual occurence. It happens often with guys or ladies in relationships.
Yours is particular to a case of individual difference. I guess you expect too much from her. Plz don't, cos she might not be cut out for that. Also note that the distance bewteen both of you is another factor. Most ladies can't really handle long distance relationships.
I think you should give her some space.I mean give her time to enjoy the doses you've already given her.
Sometimes, it's good to let go of that which we love; if it comes back, then it was meant to be. If it doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be in the first place.

In all, don't change your attitude towards her. Just be yourself. Things usually have a way of sorting themselves out naturally.

Above all, commit the relationship sincerely into the hands of God Almighty! 8)

Your story is very similar to my own story which I would have loved even before now to share with people in this forum, but for the sensitivity of it. The first advice that I will like to give to you is that, you should first of all seek the face of the lord. From your previous post in this forum, I've realised that you are a christian, and I hope that you know that there good choice and there is God's choice. First ask from God if she is his choice for you. Then if she is, everything will surely fall in place for you.
Another thing is that, from my own personal experience, I'll tell you vivdly that it is still the distance that separate you guys that still make her love to be as strong as it is in your mind, the moment she has time for you, it will be you yourself that will even be restricting her from expressing her love for you the way she'll like to. You may think it is not possible, but that is the reality. You know I said we almost shared a similar story. Yours is not even as serious as mine.
So my dear brother, seek the face of the lord and after comfirmation, be patient with her, then things will fall in place.

it is often said that in a marriage(relationship) the women should love(not merely express)than the man.I truly acept this theory because 90% of women know how to start,maintain and end a relationship!
All the advice given above is very splendid&accurate,but before you act on them,seriously ask God if she is the one for you,so that you won't waste your time&effort.
Also,i support what Dagunro said,free her for sometime,just fold your hands and let God/fate/time take its course.Anytime you think of her try diverting ur tots smwhere else like browsing/playing games/readin a novel or any of ur hobies.(not by geting smone else)
If after this period she still did not change,it is now left to u to decide if she's worth the one-sided commitment or not.
Pls my dear don't make a mistake maritally.
I would've loved to write/say more,but ......
MAY GOD GUIDE YOU

The mistakes that guys make about women is that we are all the same. Very affectionate, highly faithful, not having a mind of her own and the biggest thinking she would make him the center of her universe.
Welcome tosin to the real world. The fact that she does not call as often as you are does not mean she does not care. Her past experiences might be what is making her cautious. She might be a very affectionate person and she might not but it still doesnt mean she does not care about you.

My advice learn to know the kind of person she is. Dont put her in a box. She might be showing she cares in so many ways except the one way you want her to. Dont loose a good thing for lack of understanding and for the sake of God marriage is not based on your emotions alone ooo. So keep asking GOD for guidance.
It is well
TBABY

I would tell you...stop calling her for a month not even a flash,no text.......AND WATCH OUT ,if she calls within that month she has a thing for you but if she calls you after a month,and starts demanding answers why u havent called.....shes worth the time u've spent

I dont know if it really exists but (to the best of my knowledge) i dont think there is any machine, guage or meter that can measure or tell who loves more in a relationship.

Each partner puts according to his/her conception of the whole thing. While you think you are the more loving and caring one, she might also think the same. In relationships, communication matters alot and the parties involved are usually very (emotionally) sensitive to the slightest breach in it. The ultimate decision should come from you, but i will not advice that you relent in the frequency and velocity of your communicamtion with her.

You know there are some feelings that cannot be tranmitted through telepathic means.So i suggest you meet her one on one, explain your feelings to her, tell her how much you love her and how the sun and the moon rise in her eyes.

At the end of it, let her give you her own part of it and what she thinks of it and how she feels about it.

And also, do not forget to commit her (your relationship)in your prayers, ask for the hand of God in it.


I wish all the best that the relationship has to offer.

My brother You seem like the kind of guy any woman will kill to have!
The heart of a woman is a deep ocean of secrets because u never really can accurately predict what's on their mind! Women are very difficult to understand (someone once said men should not even try to understand them, JUST LOVE THEM).... The fact that she doesn't call as often as you do may not necessarily mean she doesn't love you. she may feel relaxed because you do the calling (my people say na as tree be na so monkey go take climb am). Then please for God's sake make effort to be together with her either one of u should relocate, this could be difficult but distance has destroyed a lot of seemingly "perfect" relationships (I'm a living example) Try taking a little break like 48hours and see if she won't call to find out why (well if she doesn't, wahala dey oh!). Above all be aware that God is the key and HE is in ABSOLUTE Control!

well what a life, most people we love often fall out to be the wrong choice, nevertheless i pray this is not ur case, Let the perfect will God prevail. Relax d lord is in charge