HUSBAND AND WIFE ISSUES

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their

position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,

"Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied,
"In-laws."

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day.... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we

have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up

first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says........... "HEBREWS"


THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and

were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake
him at 5 :00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she
would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to
discover it was9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is
always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

GOOD ONE

thats wonderfel and I'll like to see more of that :D :D

>:( >:( >:( :( :( :( ??? :-[ :-X :-\


Na wa oooooo.

Really,really nice.Keep up the good work

hmmmmm...this is an ample affront on Men......i am tempted to react oooo! but come to think of it......some of the assertions are actually true!

Please dear florafab and coolguy, I thank U guys 4 the good job on naijahotjobs. I will like to communicate with dvt the administrator in private. How do I go about doing that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by unlimitedaquarius

Please dear florafab and coolguy, I thank U guys 4 the good job on naijahotjobs. I will like to communicate with dvt the administrator in private. How do I go about doing that.

---

Send him a private mail requesting for his mobil number.

Atleast 2 ease off. Nice piece

@dawaskee...I tried viewing his profile to see if I will be able to send him a mail but was not given the access. And I can't even access the moderator, edit/modify icon from here.

@unlimitedaquarius,

go to your messages, go to new message, in the recipients column, go to search, type in dvt and the search will show his name as it is, then send your message. He is sure to get it.

This is it. they will like it

Madam the madam.this is da bomb and i really lafed my arse off.congrats on ur new status.saw ur wedding pics on fb.wish u all the best.may God bless ur marriage in Jesus name.

Hey dats cool! In da absence of job lets laugh it out.Ha! ha!! ha!!!

I ENJOYED THIS...KEEP IT UP. CHEERS

That was funny. make me to loosen up a lil.

truly nice...keep it up bro

:D :D very funny,wat a gud jist to laugh out the days stress

its a nice job,God will grant you more wisdom

you are good ,keep it up.

Thanks,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and keep it up........................ ;D ;D ;D

One Love.

:) :) :) this is good, pls take it up

That was a good one!!!!

.

lol, i no fit laugh
Nice :)

@jeanie,

so you're checking me up on fb,witout adding me as a friend?now dats bad!
Abeg add me jare.

very funny.cool jokes.

i really enjoyed ur jokes, they are quite inspiring and thought provoking.

Madam Flora where you dey ?

@jibowu,
i dey my husband house

lovely one............we shld 4get joblessness 4 once

Florafeb this fight btw u and jeanie never still stop? Anyway sha congrats to u and oga, d only thing be say u no invite us come chop rice but all in all una welldone, nice jokes. I don begin see wetin i don miss since wey i never log in, well hope to log in more often.

it is really nice and of course it is the truth. more oil to ur elbow

The jokes are funny. I was bored at work and i decided to read it, now im still laughing.

Nice one. actually find myself smiling all thr. :)

THIS IS REALLY NICE>>>>>>>hahahahaha

very good

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Lee Majors


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Al Gore


By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Mike Tyson

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton


"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W. Bush

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Rudy Giuliani

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
Micheal Jordan

"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." The third gave me more children!
Donald Trump

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Shaquille O'Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Alec Baldwin


A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Barack Obama


Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Tommy Lee


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Brad Pitt



First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Jimmy Kimmel


"Honey, what happened to 'ladies first'?" Husband replies, "That's the reason why the world's a mess today, because a lady went first!"
David Letterman


"First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing!
Jay Leno

What a wonderful piece. I have always belief women are smarter than men in relationship issues. And also they are better drivers! Are u contesting this, just look at the car of ur female colleague bought same time with a male colleague and tell me ur observation

so true,but it baffles me how our more intelligent women would do ANYTHING to hang on to us dumb men, there must be something fatally attractive in our dumbness!!!

laugh,laugh,laugh...................nice one