ADVICE ME

HOUSE MEMBERS PLEASE I NEED YOUR OPINION ON THIS


I HAVE BEEN IN LAGOS FOR A LIKE A MONTH AND SOME FEW DAYS SEARCHING FOR A JOB, I LIVE WITH A FREIND WHO IS MARRIED WITH KIDS, THE COMPOUND IS LIKE A FAMILY COMPOUND BUT WITH FEW TENANTS...... OF WHICH MY FRIEND THAT I AM CURRENTLY LIVING WITH IS A TENANT...

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE LANDLORD'S DAUGHTER (DEEPLY IN LOVE), I CARE FOR HER.... TAKE HER OUT OFTEN TO CHILL, AND JUST YESTERDAY I GOT HER A PHONE WORTH 11K BECAUSE I NOTICED THE PHONE SHE'S USING ISNT GOOD AT ALL.....

THE THING IS I TOLD HER I WOULD DO ANY THING FOR HER.... NOTE THAT SHE IS NOT A DEMANDING TYPE I SOMETIMES FORCE HERF TO GO CHILL WITH ME AND I SUGGESTED GETTING HER A NEW PHONE AND INSISTED THAT SHE MUST NOT REJECT IT... SHE ACCEPTED THE PHONE

BUT I HAVE NOT EXPRESSED MYSELF YET, I AM ALLOWING MY CARE AND ATTENTION TO LEAD THE WAY, I FEEL SHE DOSENT FEEL ANYTHING FOR ME OR PERHARPS SHE IS PRETENDING OR HIDING HER FEELINGS.

SHE JUST CRASHED OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP THIS JANUARY WHERE SHE HAD A BITTER EXPERIENCE.

THE EXPERIENCES SHE HAD ARE

1. THE GUY DOESNT CARE FOR HER AT ALL, THERE WASNT ANY RECORD OF HIM BUYING HER ANYTHING NOT EVEN LAST YEAR;S VALENTINE OR HER BIRTHDAY THOU THE GUY IS WORKING.

2. HE CHEATS ON HER, ON SEVERAL OCCASSIONS, SHE CATCHES HIM WITH A PARTICULAR GURL AND SOMETIMES A DIFFERENT ONE, THEY GET INTO FIGHTS THAT RESULTED TO HER GOING HOME AND SHEDING TEARS.. (ALL BECAUSE SHE OVER LOVED HIM)..

NOW AS TO WHERE U GUYS COME IN IS.. THIS GUY ALWAYS COMES AROUND TO LOOK FOR HER AT HOME AND SHE STILL GOES THERE TO SEE HIM ON HIS REQUEST.. SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR HIM BUT CANNOT GO BCK TO THE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF WAT SHE PASSED THROUGH,, YES I CAN SEE IT IN HER EYES AND BEHAVIOUR WHENEVER THE GUYS COMES AROUND THAT SHE STIL CARES.

SO HOUSE SO FAR AS REGARDS WAT I HAVE EXPLAINED DO U THINK I STAND A CHANCE OF HAVING HER? IF "YES" WHY AND IF "NO" WHY..


THANKS FOR READING AND HOPING TO SEE POSITIVE RESPONSE FROM U GUYS

You are the most irresponsible man on earth! You mean you went to Lagos in search of jobs only to abandon your primary motive for anything on skirt. Man, you are a disgrace to me, your friend who accommodated you in the first place and to God who in His infinite mercy brought a good friend to you so that you can stay with and look for job. Please, man, it is never too late to retrace your steps from these disgraceful steps you have taken so far. You do this by looking for the JOB first, then come back to the HOUSE and tell us that you have found a JOB and see the invaluable advice we will give to you CONCERNING THIS GIRL! MAN, LOOK FOR A JOB FIRST!

@Kenyy: You just said my mind. How can a sensible person looking for a job buy a phone worth 11k for a girl who is telling him smart lies abt a break-up. Ehis wake up. Be focused, you dont have a job, no hope for u.

Ehis is a disappionment to men people like you should be disable from the site what has your love life has to do wsith niajahotjobs.com it is high time you actually difine what you want no wonder you are still jobless my guy leave weman for now and find a good job first. next time i will read anything concering you on this site should be you have got a job. remember the girl will love better if you have a good job

GUY, IVE GONE THRU WHAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY OUT YOUR STORY AND HERE IS MY OWN OPINION.
FIRSTLY, THEY ARE RIGHT IN SOME WAY. AND THIS IS BECAUSE UR AIM IS TO GET A JOB, SO DONT BE DISTRACTED. ON THE OTHER SIDE, THINGS ARE NOT DONE THE WAY URE DOING IT. HOW CAN U BE BUYING SOMETHING 4 SOMEONE U HAVE NOT TOLD UR FEELING? C'MON MEN, WAKE UP!
THE 1ST THING U HAV TO DO IS TO TELL HER UR FEELING AND LETS SEE IF SHE CARES 4 U OR NOT B4 JUMPING INTO SOMETHING ELSE.
U GATTO BE WISE.
THOUGH, THE FACT THAT URE LOOKING 4 A JOB DOES NOT MEAN U CANT HAV FUN BUT BE WISE AT THE WAY U GO ABOUT IT.
WAKE UP MEN!

I dont think you are ok, what do we have to do with your love story. are you actually looking for a job or a girl if you are looking for the later there are sites for such topics not naijahotjobs, we mean business in this house

You mean he should have fun at the expense of his future?

@sillt..sorry fo d way members replied bt sumtins u jus ve to be given a straight on the head answer..i know dat kind of feelin u have,i once had it durin my university days, bt take my advice leave dat girl fast..if u doubt me test her...

U GUYS THANKS 4 ALL UR CONTRIBUTIONS,I KNW I MADE A MISTAKE BY GETTING HER THE PHONE,I CAME 2 LAGOS 2 LUK 4 A JOB,NT A GURL,I DNT LUK 4 HER ,I JUST MET HER. AS 4 D JOB SEARCH I AM STILL 100% ON COURSE. Thanks 4 ur contributions,thou it wasnt wat i expected.

@Silt,
My guy i understand what your going thru,but if truth be told,i think your making a mistake along the line.Listen,you need to focus on your job search first,get a good job,take care of your basic responsibilities to yourself,your parents,and your family.

Secondly,i think your making a mistake of assuming because you bought a phone for her,she ought to reciprocate your feelings,yet you said she still has some iota of feelings for the former guy.You have not even expressed your feelings for her,forget you take her to joints,you dont force love feelings from somebody,it comes naturally,willingly.

I wouldnt like to see you hanging on the fence hoplng against hope that she agrees.Men she still has feelings for her former guy,its so obvious.
Moreover by proximity of leaving in her fathers compound,have you considered what happens to your self respect,in the eyes of other tenants in the compound.

My friend,belive me,you still have a bright future ahead of you,concentrate on your career goals,achieve them and 'babes' go dey pursue you die'
Just relax and free her.

Ehis my man... Tell her your mind, then she'll say NO (thats the worst that can happen anyway) and you move on FAST! On the other hand, she may want to play smart and tell you YES but believe me when her boyfriend discovers u, he may do anything to come back and I tell u she'd accept because she obviously still Loves him. Now where will that leave u???? It will leave you dejected and heart broken; thats too much for an unemployed fellow!!! Come to think of it u said the other guy is working and doesn't buy anything, you should ask yourself what is the attraction??? my guy Just stay Focused on the job search because the BEST IS YET TO COME... including women........Abi you no be Ishan man???

Bros big daddy cool thanks alot i have learnt my lesson. I hv made up my mind 2 allow thins happen naturally.me,you still have a bright future ahead of you,concentrate on your career goals,achieve them and 'babes' go dey pursue you die'
Just relax and free her.
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YOU MEAN THE SMALL HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEG NOW THINKS FOR YOU!AH YAH .. THERE IS A PARABLE IN MY PLACE THAT SAYS 'THE CHILD ON THE MOTHERS BACK DOES NOT KNOW THE DISTANCE BEING COVERED BY TREKKING'.HELP YOUR 3RD LEG ... HA HA ..

Well I dont really think there is any wrong or right way about going about this. Remember he neva said he was going to marry her, they just wanna date, this is ok in my book. Howeva remeber this..... YOU GANNA LOOSE A LOT OF MONEY CHASING WOMEN BUT U NEVER LOOSE WOMEN CHASING MONEY......as far as u can do your two activities concurrently (looking for a job and dating responsibly) It should be fine bro. All the best G.

Guy,av fun but use your,simple. ???

I feel for you Ehis. I am a lady and I must tell you that every woman is more comfortable with a guy that has a job. That the pride of every woman. Dont mind those criticising you about falling in love. Most times, we meet people and we cant help control our feelings, but I must advise you to be sensible, wise and calculative. When you get a job, that girl will fall head over hills in love with you. Though the true test of love is shown when things are tough. But be wise guy! stop spending the money while the other guy is kpokporing her.

Ehis i know you have learnt your lesson i believe every commet here advices you to leave the girl in question and focus on getting a job after that girls will do any thing to get your attention. but guy you be Edo Guy by your name i presume no Edo guy they carry last now, guy you dey fall my hand and you be Ishan the Heartbeat of Edo man just let that feeling die now or it will distroy one more thing when you have issue like this and you want adivices please locate a concellor online they are plenty of them ready to any your emotional problem ............one love...... one nigeria ....one great nation ...... geat people

Ehis! I feel for you, but try express ur feelings 2 her immediately. Waste no time again as there may be no other time to do that. The ex- might come anytime for reconciliation & bet me she 'll succumb. The time is now, otherwise concentrate on ur career. Cheers... Experience

Thanks 2 everybody in da house,u 've spoken well,BIG thanks 2 clarinda;she clear it all.My guy,u 've 2 be very serious & concentrate about ur job search,if u get a job 2day woman will run after u.

@ Sillt Ehis!

Your feelings or actions are quite normal. It's just that you need to learn to take control. The only aspect I frown at is, your buying her a phone! To me, that's a very wrong move! Always Use your head especially when it comes to the issue of women moreso when you have a rather complicated one like you just mentioned.

Many guys who have criticized here, cannot say that they have not at one time or the other done silly things for Babes; either while in school or out of school. :D

However, you should concentrate more on getting a job first - since that is your primary aim. Then, think of getting your own apartment - no matter how small.

As for expressing your feelings, I don't think you should do that considering the fact that you both live in the same compound and she still has something with the other guy. All I think you should do is to keep a platonic friendship for the now and watch things unfold. 8)

Socail,daguro,clarinda,ojeabulu. I am so greatful 4 yr post,any how i just got a job bt nt a gud payin job.